| good week. |
[27 Nov 2009|08:27pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 mischievous |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Lifehouse. |
] |
i don't remember monday & tuesday.
i don't know why.
wednesday woke up in the afternoon.
go ready.
took the bus with jess.
went shopping at heb.
got what we needed
& headed back to the apt.
put my make up on, etc.
took a cab to jason's show at momo's.
it was a great fucking show.
we got there just in time.
after the show we talked to everyone.
hungout & they drank some.
i couldn't of course because i'm not 21.
me & jess got hot chocolate.
after that we went to whataburger.
[jason, jess me & adrian]
after that we went home.
i went upstaires & listened to music.
jason was drunkkkkk.
so him & jess were...frisky. haha.
i listened to music til zach got home.
then we hungout in his bedroom til we fell asleep.
yesterday, thanksgiving, was good.
got up early & went to my grandparents house.
when i got there the first thing my grandmother
said to me was, "you've lost weight."
i didn't know how to take that. haha.
we spent the day playing cards & dice & eating.
when i got home to the apartment
i hungout with zach for a while.
he played a video game while i finished a book.
then we watched two movies together.
after that we went to bed cuz we were tired.
wednesday we stayed up really late.
like i didn't get to bed til 7am. haha.
today i woke up at like 330pm ish.
zach wanted some money for lunch.
so i took his car & gave him money at work.
after that i went to my parents house
& grabbed the rest of my clothes over there.
then i came home & watched movies with jess & jason.
now i'm gonna go watch another movie most likely.
tomorrow i have plans to hangout with my friend max.
we went to school together at acc
& i haven't actually hungout with him in foreverrr.
then maybe stopping by my friend
brittney's house for her birthday party.
the only problem with that would be that i
wouldn't have a ride home if i got max to drop me off.
so i'm still working that plan out.
laterrrr.
|
+
|
| between a rope & a bottle. |
[23 Nov 2009|09:11pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 good |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Alkaline Trio. |
] |
i know every song & every word to their music.
they are the only band i can say that about.
i love how i put my ipod on shuffle
& it starts with three of their songs.
my ipod knows exactly what i want to hear.
today was awesome.
work was ehh.
as usual.
did absolutely nothing.
then i came to my parents house.
i slept with my cat spittle. <3
i fucking missed him so much.
i shouldn't of slept during the day.
but, my mom gave me a sleeping pill.
so hopefully that will help me out tonight.
i actually cried earlier cuz i miss him so much.
i wish i could take him to the apartment with me.
but everyone there is allegic to cats except for me.
yeah, i landed a boyfriend that's allergic to cats.
lame considering i'm a total cat person.
but whatever.
i'd give up having cats for him.
i can't wait to go back to school.
i'm scared to go back but really excited at the same time.
that's all i have to say.
for now.
|
3 // +
|
| jump rope champion of bikini bottom! |
[23 Nov 2009|09:54am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 cold |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Spongebob! |
] |
okay things lately between me & zach have felt very rocky.
we've been argueing a lot lately
& i've been kinda clingy.
by lately, i mean like the past three days or so.
i'm still learning to be less clingy.
we are good right now.
i talked to my mom about it
& she thinks we are just going through a hard time.
she said every relationship goes through stuff like this.
we both still wanna be together.
so i guess there's nothing really to worry about.
we both love eachother.
i can't believe i said that to you.
i didn't mean it at all.
i wish i never said it, to be honest.
i never want you to think i will do that.
you should know that i love you.
lol.
we were listening to music in bed last night.
fall out boy came on.
it was just coninscidence
that at that moment i jumped on top of him.
i wanted to make out with him & such.
he was like, "no. i will not make out with you to fall out boy."
i started kissing him.
he was like, "you're raping me."
the way he said it was the funniest fucking thing.
we were both really highhh.
so it was hilarious to us. haha.
in other newssss
thanksgiving is on thursday!
i'll be going with my parents to my grandparents house.
i'm kinda nervous about it actually.
because i haven't been going to work like i'm supposed to.
& blahblahblah.
so i don't want everyone to gang up on me about it.
i already know something's gonna be said about it.
& i haven't seen my grandparents in a few months
so who knows what they are gonna say about me!
i wish my mom had the day off.
i wanna spend all day hangingout with her.
she gets off at six today.
so i can see her when she gets home.
i'll fill your life with misery & woe!
...even if you quit.
i think today's gonna be a good day.
i have a good feeling about today.
[:
|
2 // +
|
| sounds like my kind of movie. |
[20 Nov 2009|10:03am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 numb |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Degrassi. |
] |
it's all rainy outside.
today is friday!
weekend starts tonighttttt.
my boss is out of work all next week.
i'll probably go in mon & tues.
degrassi marathon all day. <3
my mom gave me some muscle relaxers.
so hopefully i'll get some sleep.
last night was pretty fun.
everyone was at the apartment.
well except zach, he was at work.
we watched blades of glory.
which i had never seen before.
it was pretty hilarious.
then zach got homeeee.
we watched dazed & confused.
which i also had never seen before.
it was pretty cool.
then we watched role models.
which happens to be one of my favorite movies.
i find it to be hilariousssss. haha.
jason's brother came over last night
& he hungout for a whileeee.
after that i went upstaires to get some sleep.
which was my favorite part of my night.
me & zach went upstaires & talked for a while
& then we ended up having sex.
after the sex we talked & laughed & it was great. [:
he told me the reason he wants me to go to work
is because he wants me to have money left over to buy stuff for me.
& i said i didn't have anything i need to buy.
he said stuff i want to buy.
all i did was smile.
he said, "exactly." haha.
& we both laughed.
yeah, there's stuff i could buy with my extra money.
but, money doesn't really mean anything to me.
it's not important to me.
anywayzzzz
theeeeen he left me & went downstaires to play games with jason.
which i didn't really care about because i was sleepy.
it was like 2AMish though.
so i'm still kinda sleepy.
he came to bed eventually.
i don't know when exactly.
he has the day off today,
so he didn't care how late he stayed up.
i think if everyone stopped telling me to go to work,
i would go to work without a fuss.
i just don't like people telling me what to do.
all i want to do this weekend is watch movies,
chill at the apartment, get highhhh
& spend some sweet time with my boyfriend.
butttt, i'm guessing that won't happen.
he'll want to do guy shit & play games.
i just want to feel special.
like, i'm needed in his life.
maybe i'm just being too clingy.
maybe i'm just over thinking everything.
my nap is going to be epic.
i love falling asleep listening to the rain fall.
it's one of my favorite things to do in the entire world.
i want to be someone's everything.
i've waited my entire life.
i'm being emotional.
i've never been "the one".
it's all i've ever wanted.
so, please don't get my hopes up.
please.
i hate when he tells me he wants me to go to work.
[when it's his day off]
because i want him to want me with him.
i understand why he wants me to work.
but, it still kinda hurts to hear.
go to work.
pay my bills.
go to school.
get good grades.
that's what i'm supposed to do.
so why is it so hard for me to follow directions?
the only problem with me & zach
is that i love him so much more than he loves me.
like, this morning he didn't wanna get up
& take me to work because it was his day off.
he wanted to sleep in or whatever.
i would get up & take him to work if i had to.
just stupid shit like that.
i just wanna feel loved.
i always feel like everyone's mad
at me because i'm such a screw up.
i just want to be loved.
especially by him.
i'm rambling.
i'm out of it.
i'm done here.
|
2 // +
|
| when you wake i'll be 1000 miles away. |
[18 Nov 2009|03:48pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
calm |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Matchbook Romance. |
] |
huh.
yesterday was weird.
i was in a weird mood.
i felt like me & zach weren't getting along very well.
so all day i was kinda weird around him.
he played video games [not joking] all day.
i finally got to watch a movie around 1030 last night.
when we got into bed last night i told him how i was feeling.
he was confused.
he asked if i wanted to break up with him.
i said no, of course not.
i never want to break up with him.
i'm completely in love with him.
i told him i felt like he wanted to break up with me.
& he just held me & said no.
i don't know why i felt this way.
just all day i had a weird feeling.
so this morning he woke up all paniced & crying.
apparently he had a bad dream that i broke up with him.
i felt horrible.
i would never break up with him.
i told him that the only way he's
getting out of this relationship
is if he breaks up with me.
i felt so bad that he had a bad dream.
i held him & told him we were okay.
when he left for work today he told me
that when he comes home he wants to lay in bed with me all night.
i told him not to get my hopes up,
but that i would absolutley love that.
i hope he still feels that way when he gets home.
we'll see i guess.
i feel better now.
way better than yesterday.
|
4 // +
|
| hmph. |
[17 Nov 2009|06:41pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 weird |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Matbook Romance |
] |
i'm feeling weird today.
not like myself.
|
+
|
| why don't you just take me where i've never been before? |
[16 Nov 2009|03:27pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 bored |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
The Pogues |
] |
i've been sitting at work since 9AM this morning.
i haven't done a goddamn thing.
literally.
all i've done is update on here,
check my email
& write 13 pages in my written journal.
i haven't read my book at all.
which i'm actually considering doing nowww.
& i bet this is exactly what i'll be doing tomorrow too.
i wanna put my pictures on here,
but i'll try to do that when i'm at my parents house today.
i have so manyyyy.
& they are all pretty amusing.
can i embed videos on here?
cuz zach took two videos of me with my camera.
they are pretty cheesy. haha.
me being all high & ditzy mostly.
but, it shows how we are when we are alone together.
so that would be cool to put up here.
my favorite picture of us is on there.
it's my favorite out of any picture i have EVER taken of us.
i love it so much! <3
the way he smiles in it makes me happy.
i'm totally gonna take this picture,
frame it & put it in my office. <3 haha.
oh he will hateeee that. lmao.
i don't wanna take spanish. -.-
i hatedddd taking it in highschool.
i wanna take sign language or french.
but, i feel like spanish would benefit
me more in the long run with my job.
& it also would help out considering where i live.
how am i gonna do this the rest of the week?
sit here & do nothing!?
it's gonna drive me insane.
if you're not getting answers,
ask better questions.
i have my entire ipod on shuffle
& it's crazy cause songs are playing that i haven't heard in years.
this is an interesting topic, huh?
yeah. i'm an interesting person. haha.
UGH.
josh wants to go threw all of our dvds
& make sure we eachother got the dvds we wanted after the break up.
so we are doing that thursday i think.
i still have so much crap i need to move to our apartment.
like i haven't moved any of my books over &
i still have a bunch of tank tops & shit to take over.
i'm not taking my bedroom set cause there's nowhere to put it all.
i'll just leave it with my parents until i need it.
i'm currently reading "Pride & Prejudice & Zombies."
after this i'm gonna read, "I Just Want My Pants Back."
thennn i'm deciding between the "Zombie Survival Guide" & the Twilight series.
if anyone has some book suggestions i'd love to hear 'em.
especially if i can read them online cause i'm brokeeee. haha.
i'm donw for nowww. [:
|
2 // +
|
| now, i'm the only one that's all alone. |
[16 Nov 2009|10:12am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
calm |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Valencia. |
] |
i'm at work.
everyone rejoice!
my ipod's half way charged.
i hope it lasts all day!
my boss isn't in today.
she'll be out of the office today & tomorrow.
& of course like all next week,
because she'll be going to florida for thanksgiving.
the other night me & zach were laying in bed & talking. marriage got brought up some how. i mentioned to him how since i turned 20 it's been on my mind more & more. i told him i didn't want to scare him by talking about it. then he mentioned that the wedding thing is a big deal to me, but it's the kid thing that he's been thinking about. it basically took my breath away. then we went on talking about that type of stuff. i was surprised to hear that he wants kids actually. i mean, most guys wouldn't talk about this kinda stuff after a month of being in a relationship like this. it was nice to hear though. he's a really sweet guy. well then we continued on talking about random stuff. at one point we both got really quiet & when that happens we each usually ask what the other is thinking about. well he wouldn't tell me. he said it was an idea he has for our future & that he couldn't tell me right now. well of course that got my attention & i was interested. so i started guessing random ideas that we could do together. like dancing, swimming, random shit like that. i asked if i guessed if he would tell me. he said maybe. so i kept on guessing. i asked if it involved pets, other people, blahblah. finally i asked if it involved our parents. he said yes. i was scared. haha. i had no idea what it was. he finally told me after me guessing for a good 30 minutes. he said he was thinking about how to ask me to marry him. he said he wants to do it in front of everyone so i'll be all embarassed & really surprised. haha. it was super sweet. i almost cried. just the fact that he's even thinking of stuff like that makes my heart melt. [:
i'm bein' all girly & giggly over this kinda stuff today. like, i just remembered that my birthday is the anniversary of our first kiss. <3 gah. i'm totally head over heels for this boy.
so i finally decided what classes i will be taking in the spring.
the intro. math class.
which i'm actually forced to take.
it's not an option for me.
the intro. english course.
a intro. to psych course.
& a intro. to spanish course.
that's a full schedule for me.
i'll be working & doing full time at school.
craziness.
so, i'm sure a breakdown is coming soon.
i won't be eating today until dinner time tonight. :/
my stomache just growled at me though.
it's gonna be a long fuckin' day,
because it's my first REAL day back at work.
i haven't worked a full day in forevahhh.
i'm gonna be in a bitchy mood by the end of the day.
& i won't be able to see zach til like after 9 tonight!
i'm gonna hate working a lot & going to school. -.-
i know i need to go back though.
jess is preggers.
jason & jess are really excited about it.
it's really cute.
they have both been so blissful since they found out.
they have been telling everyone. haha.
i'm really happy for them.
perfect timing for this to pop up on my ipod:
"Valiant"
There's a special place inside my skull
Where your DNA it codes my cerebrum
In full stuttering and drooling
My shredded throat will try to sing for you
What do you say? Would you marry me today?
The moon would gush all inside out
and my nightmares would go away
What do you say? Would you devote yourself today?
Like riding out a sinking ship as it lowers into the bay
Please stay.
The blood collects and flushes out your cheek bones
I've got this secret garden and you are the only one who knows
I'm stuttering and drooling
My shredded throat will try to sing for you
What do you say? Would you marry me today?
The moon would gush all inside out
and my nightmares would go away
What do you say? Would you devote yourself today?
Like riding out a sinking ship as it lowers into the bay
Please.
I'm cutting ties with all the jealous zombies
I need to feel your warm body on me
When the sun goes down and the shadows grow
Just trust in us and forever know
Please keep holding on to me
anywayz
it's gonna be a long day.
no doubt now.
i wish i could check my facebook from work.
but, i know it's blocked.
yesterday jess was gonna go shopping in south austin with the boys. so she invited me along. we went to eat & then we walked to target. well on our way to target we passed by this shop. as we looked in we were like, "aww that's a cute bag." then we saw the entire store & our jaws dropped. it was a store full of EVERY accessory a girl could think of in all different colors. just a full store of jewlery, bags, scarves, etc. i thought i was gonna have a heartattack. haha. if they sold clothes, it would of been heaven for me. it was a really neat little store. they had so much jewlery in every color you could think of. it was crazy. i really wanted this cuuuuute torqouise purse. it was adorableeee. [:
yes. this is a long port because i'm bored.
but, i'm done now! <3
|
+
|
| fire's a beautiful sound. |
[14 Nov 2009|07:52pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
something corporate. |
] |
he told me he can picture himself marrying me.
i'm so hopelessly in love with zach.
it amazes me & it's almost surreal.
i texted him earlier & told him that when i didn't feel him come to bed last night. he was playing video games downstaires & i got tired. so i went upstaires to sleep. well i didn't wake up when he came to bed. so i went to bed alone, but woke up in his arms this morning. it's a wonderful feeling. he thought i woke up when he came to bed because i snuggled up next to him when he layed down. he said it was cute. but, i don't remember waking up at all last night. today he told me i have the same look on my face that lauren has when she looks at her fiance jeff. they are friends of ours. they have been together for at least 5 years. i heard lauren say that. they are getting married next year i think. they are like the ultimate couple. really fucking chill, smokes bud, hopelessly in love, cute together, really happy, etc. so when he said that i almost melted. it was adorable.
i am so very happy. [:
it's amazing.
i came from a relationship where i was in such a rut
& always upset/stressed,
to an amazing relationship where
i'm always happy & pleased. <3
i never want this to change.
|
2 // +
|
| muahahaha! where's my ipod? D: |
[11 Nov 2009|05:29pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
lazy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
typing. |
] |
yesterday was nice. [:
zach had the day off.
i also had the day off.
so we layed in bed together til about 2PM.
we got up & got dressed & shiiiiit.
he took a shower.
he also sung in the shower. <333 lol.
it was super adorable.
& he was singing a beatles song.
so that deserves more: <33333!
anyways
while he was in the shower
i went down to the computer labbb.
i was looking for a new bank to use.
but, i didn't find one that was free & i liked.
i was gonna use wacovia,
but they are associated with wells fargo.
& i owe wells fargo like 200 dollars-ish.
so then i just went back to the apartment.
zach had the music blasting &
was singing while getting dressed or whatever.
i went to go look for a movie to watch.
well he came downstaires & took over the xbox.
i was not happy.
we fought a little.
then i decided to let him play video games
IF i could take pictures of us.
so i sat & texted, took some silly pictures
& he played video games.
jason & jess came home.
when jason walked in he asked if
we were gonna be home tonight.
we both replied yesssss.
then he said that he was making a huge dinner tonight.
OMG. we were so fucking excited. haha.
all i had eaten for a few days were mashed potatoes.
so a full on huge ass dinner!? YES please.
so i needed to get a few things from my parents house.
i had already told zach that in the morning.
so we decide to head over there while the dinner is being prepared.
well my dad starts getting in on me about school, work, bills, etc.
& ZACH fucking sides with him & totally gangs up on me! :O
i was like uhhhh no sir!
that's not how we play this game. haha.
so i get some shit from my parents.
but, i totally forgot to grab a lot of stuff
i needed because i was distracted.
so we head back to the apartment.
zach told me if my mom would have been there,
he wouldn't of ganged up on me. lol.
he was just playing around though with my dad.
so we get back & zach immediatly starts playing games.
i sit down on the couch with my camera & take a few pictures.
oh! also zach had a memory card he wasn't using
so he gave it to me since i like taking pictures.
so now i can take like 4 thousand pictures! muahaha!
anyways
jess's two boys start playing with my camera.
so we are all playing & having a good time.
well dinner was served shortly after this.
dinner was amaziiiiiing.
jason is a really awesome cook.
after dinner we all sat around & we watched night at the roxbury.
which is a movie i happen to love. :D
the boys went to their apartment & went to sleep.
jess went up staires & jason did soon after.
me & zach were left downstaires.
i decided i wanted to watch a movie.
by this point i was so fucking high.
so zach grabs my camera.
i'm looking for a movie, being stupid me
& he starts shooting videos of me! lol.
i'm like really fucking high, being all ditzy.
we took so many pictures last night.
& he took two videos.
we ended up watching the blues brothers
because i had never seen it.
i didn't see most of the movie though...;] haha.
after the movie i decided i needed to get some sleep.
it was like 230AM.
so i headed up staires & totally crashed.
i kept waking up though cuz zach wasn't there.
when he finally came to bed it was like 5AM this morning. haha.
he crashed as soon as he layed down.
while we were alone downstaires he was being really sweet.
kissing me on my neck & shoulders.
taking cute pictures of us together.
i love when we can just be silly like that. [:
i'll have to post all the pictures
next time i'm at my parents house for a while.
well i guess that's all for now. :D
later. <3
|
2 // +
|
| stay close, don't go. |
[09 Nov 2009|06:54pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
whatev |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
secondhand serenade |
] |
i'm not the only one for you,
but you're the only one for me.
|
2 // +
|
| ooey gooey lovey dovey post. |
[06 Nov 2009|06:03pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blissful |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
commercials. |
] |
yesterday was one of the best days of my life.
i didn't go to work, so i slept in with zach.
he woke me up earlier than i planned on getting up.
we made love. <3
then we both layed around for a while.
after a few hours we went grocery shopping together! <33
omg. it was too adorable. haha.
we were both like, "uhhh i don't know what to get."
we ended up with pizza, icecream & sodas.
also, he got stuff to make dinner.
YES. he made me dinner.
well not just me,
but he made dinner.
which was so sexy! haha.
so the dinner he made was wonderful.
one of my all time favorite dishes.
after dinner we hungout with jason & jess.
we watched pulp fiction.
fucking adore that movie.
after that we played poker & i got a little tipsy.
while playing poker jason brought up the whole roommate thing.
zach mentioned a few days ago to jason that i was thinking about moving in.
i told zach to tell jason to put me on the lease
when he really was ready for me to move in.
he told jason last night. <3
omg. it was so very cute.
i couldn't stop smiling.
so we ended poker, jason won.
i was in second place. wewt.
then we all went to bed.
it was like 3AMish.
i was kinda tipsy.
we had sex twice.
then afterwards we were laying together
being all cute & cuddly.
& zach asked me if i i loved him.
i said yes, of course.
then he asked if i thought he was the one.
i said yes, i believe so.
i asked him the same thing.
& he said yes. <3333 omg.
i have butteflies typing this. haha.
it was so perfect.
it was such a great moment.
i adore this boy.
i love zach so very much.
|
2 // +
|
| it takes a little patience. |
[04 Nov 2009|09:58pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 moody |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Senses Fail. |
] |
okay.
i didn't go to work today.
throw your stones at me.
yes, i know.
i need to go to work.
i'm such a bad girl for not going.
blahblahblah.
everyone's been on my case for weeks about it.
yet, i still take days off.
i don't know why i can't just do what i'm supposed to.
i could just go to work & sit there if i didn't have any work.
i'd still get paid.
but, i choose not to.
everyone thinks i'm weird for this.
maybe i am.
but, i don't like to just sit around.
i'm alone all day at work.
alone with my thoughts.
it drives me crazy.
i don't like to be alone all the time.
now zach's even talking to me about it.
i'm glad he cares and everything.
but, i don't want to hear that shit from my boyfriend.
jesus.
i'll do what i'm told to do.
i'll sit at my desk all day
& drown myself in my thoughts.
then will everyone be happy?
i'll do what everything thinks i'm best at.
what everyone thinks i'll be doing for the rest of my life.
drive myself crazy, sitting at a desk all day.
everyone good with that?
get the fuck off my back.
i told my mom yesterday about the whole moving in thing.
she picked me up from work,
so we hungout for a while.
she said she knew it was coming
& that she wasn't surprised at all.
i didn't mention it to my dad yet.
i'm assuming she told him though.
so idk what he thinks about it yet.
i haven't haerd from him.
but, i plan on going over there maybe tomorrow.
i need to get my shit together.
get back in school.
go to work when i'm supposed to.
get back on my parents insurance
before it's too late to do that.
i feel like a fucking screw up.
i got the the whole,
"you're 20 years old. it's time to grow up!",
thing when i was last at my parents house.
i know i'm still immature.
but, i don't wanna grow up.
i still wanna have fun & be immature.
i don't wanna be like my parents.
always worried about bills, fighting about life & money.
but, i guess everyone goes through this right?
i'll get over it
& decide that it's time to grow up & act mature?
i guess i'm not as mature as i thought i was.
if i work as much as i'm supposed to,
i'm gonna be one unhappy human being.
i have a hard time working with set schedules.
i'm supposed to work 9am-5pm mon - fri.
when i finally find a job i'm crazy about,
it won't have a set schedule.
fuck set schedules.
they drive me crazy.
what's wrong with me tonight?
i'm being all blahhhh.
but, nothing's really wrong with me.
i feel like getting in bed & sleeping forever.
but, i bet when zach gets home he's gonna wanna go
over to our friend's house & do stuff.
i'm totally not in the mood.
i'm all ughh & blahh tonight.
i hate having everyone tell me what i need to do.
why can't i do what i wanna do?
can't i just make my own mistakes?
i like that everyones looking out for me.
but, at the same time...
i'd like to learn on my own.
ugh.
whatever.
|
3 // +
|
| nowhere to go. |
[03 Nov 2009|09:06am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 exhausted |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
A Static Lullaby. |
] |
not happy to be back at work.
at all.
i had anxiety issues about it last night.
zach made me feel better though.
he has the day off.
& i have to work.
fun.
he drove me to work this morning. <3
that was really sweet.
he was upset though cuz it was so early. XD haha.
we stayed up lateeee last night.
like 4am we finally layed down together.
most of the night last night i was being all angsty.
i was in a total fighting mood.
no idea why.
let's see...
what happened last night?
i was laying on zach's bed,
listening to music & singing out loud.
i had my black jacket on & his cute boxers.
i had the hoodie on my head,
so i couldn't see anything.
he walked in & leaned down to kiss me.
which scared the shit outta me. haha.
then he layed down & read the paper.
we were talking & such.
then we ended up having sex. haha.
after that we went to the computer lab.
where i updated last night.
then we went back to the apt
& he started playing video games.
i watched him for a while,
then decided i wanted to take a bath.
so i went upstaires & did that for a while.
then went back downstaires to see zach.
he was still playing video games.
i wanted attention & i was being ehhh.
so i was upset.
i was like over thinking EVERYTHING last night.
& it was giving me anxiety & shit.
so then he asked me what was wrong
& i said i don't know.
at the time i didn't know.
so then we went upstaires.
we got upstaires & started talking.
he made me feel better of course. <3
then we ended up having sex again.
after that, we spent the next few hours
listening to his itunes & talking.
it was really nice,
i'd rather do that than watch video games all night. -.-
i've only gotten like 3 or 4 hours of sleep. =/
we had our first fight the other night.
i stayed at the apartment all day
& he had to work til about 6 or 630.
after work he went to have dinner with his family.
he thought i was gonna be upset about this,
but, i really wasn't.
i actually wanted him to have dinner with them.
i was hoping he would tell them we are dating again.
[they know about our past & all the drama.]
so, when he got home i asked him if he told them.
he said no.
i quickly left the room,
slammed the door & ran downstaires to the couch.
i sat on the couch crying until he texted me.
he wanted me to come upstaires.
so i did.
& we were both in a ehhh mood.
but, i cried it out & got over it.
i figure he'll tell them eventually.
oh.
he asked me to officially move in with him yesterday. [:
i said yes of course because i'm basically living there anyway.
i was sooooo excited.
when he asked me i couldn't stop smiling.
i was actually talking about this with josh the other day.
i was telling him that i wanted to move in with zach completely.
& he said to talk to zach about it.
but, zach totally brought this up himself.
& that makes me so happy. <3
i can't wait to start moving my stuff in. [:
so i guess things are going pretty well.
well...
i haven't told my parents yet that he wants me to move in.
& i just moved back home a few months ago.
so they probably aren't gonna like this idea very much.
but, i'll tell them soon.
i'm very happy with zach.
things seem to be going so well.
i'm nervous that things are gonna start going wrong. D:
but, we seem head over heels for eachother. <3
last night he was singing along with his itunes
& dancing around to some songs.
it was the cutest thing i've ever seen.
i motioned for him to come over to me.
so he came over & i kissed him.
then i whispered,
"please don't let another girl steal you from me."
i love everything he does.
he's so silly & funny.
he's an amazing guy.
& i don't want other girls to see what i see. <3
anyway
i should get back to work.
|
9 // +
|
| romeo & juliet. |
[03 Nov 2009|12:17am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
content |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
nothinggg. |
] |
i haven't been to work in like over two weeks.
my boss must seriously hate me right now.
she'll be out of town all week in el paso.
so i'll be working alone all week this week.
fun right?
halloween went well.
if i haven't posted about it yet.
i was in my slutty fairy costume pretty much all day.
but, i felt realllllly pretty.
we went over to a few of zach's friends houses.
instead of going down town.
he had to work early the next day.
& it was cold that night,
so i would of froze. :/
not much has really been going on with me.
i need to get back to work.
that's the main thing right now.
or my parents will literally kill me.
laterrrr. <3
|
4 // +
|
| in a devoted grave is where they sleep. |
[29 Oct 2009|08:57am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 irritated |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
A Change Of Pace. |
] |
i don't wanna be at work today.
or any day.
i don't want this job anymore.
you telling me i should go into work today
was a huge slap to the face.
you have the day off.
why would you want me to work today?
that's basically saying,
"fuck you girlfriend."
yeah.
awesome.
i love you too babe.
that's not even the only reason why
i really don't wanna work today.
my dad basically told me a few weeks ago
that being an assistant/receptionist is the thing i'm best at.
he wants me to take courses in college
on these subjects because
he thinks it would be a good career for me.
I WANT TO BE A WRITER.
not some fucking lackey assistant.
not tied to a desk for the rest of my life.
i want to just walk out of here
& walk all the way home.
just turn my phone off & walk my ass home.
it's a pretty far walk, but i would do it.
i'm having like a huge mental breakdown.
not even over just wokring.
over everything.
i'm gonna fucking cry.
what's wrong with me?
|
9 // +
|
| the great escape. |
[27 Oct 2009|05:55pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
chill |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
clicking of the keyboard. |
] |
the past few days have been me & zach
just in our room cuddling & listening to music.
but, last night was completely different.
for some reason, zach was in a weird mood.
still have no idea what was going on with him.
then when he got home i was downstaires.
jess, me, the boys & andy were all playing pacman.
well zach didn't say anything & immediatly went upstaires.
we heard him shufle around, doing laundry
& then i heard his door shut.
i was like, huh? what's going on?
so i headed up staires to see what was up.
he was laying on his bed.
i jumped on him & asked what the deal was.
he wouldn't tell me exactly
& i didn't want to pry, so i let it go.
we layed up in his room for a while.
then he wanted to go downstaires & play video games.
so we did that.
he kicked the boysoff so he could play.
it's his console, so whatever.
then jason, andy & jess come downstaires.
while they were upstaires, zach was playing games
& i had put my ipod on a ipod player so i could listen to music.
well when they came downstaires, i was like ohhh shit.
i never raelly let anyone see my ipod.
i have some stuff on there that's kinda embarassing.
wellll jason, being the music guru, totally went through
my entire ipod throughout the night while we were all downstaires.
yeahhhh.
he played songs he liked & songs that he thought were just awful.
to say the least i was embarassed. haha.
it was a funnnn night though.
& i didn't take any of it seriously.
so it wasn't a big deal.
i'm nervous for zach to get home.
this morning & last night it felt like that was something wrong
& that he wasn't telling me.
so when i woke up i texted him & asked if there's
something wrong between me & him.
well, he hasn't texted me back yet. :/
it's got me a little worried.
but i'm not gonna freak out.
well that's all for now!
|
1 // +
|
| it's a war in your bedroom baby. |
[26 Oct 2009|07:28pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 hot |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
peoplez talking. |
] |
this weekend i contracted pink eye.
i don't remember if i've mentioned this already.
but, it's fucking fail to have pink eye.
& i want it to go away.
NOW.
so this saturday is halloween.
& i really hope it isn't cold that day.
it got really cold today,
so i'm kinda worried about it.
my outfit is kinda skimpy.
so i don't wanna freeze my ass off that night.
so yeah.
not much to update about right now.
i'll update more when more stuff happens!
<3
|
+
|
| candy kisses on my tongue. |
[25 Oct 2009|02:12pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
sore |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
fan blowing. |
] |
i absolutely love spending everyday with zach.
i get worried at times he will get tired of me though.
but, since the last time i updated, things have been crazy.
i haven't been to work since wednesday.
thursday zach had the day off so we spent time together.
friday he worked during the day.
friday was also when we got crazy ass drunk. haha.
jess had some of her friends come over,
chad her "husband" was over, me & jason of course.
she wanted me to hangout & drink with them.
i was the youngest of the girls so they wanted me to keep up.
i actually didn't do very bad keeping up with them.
so we were all at zach's apartment drinking.
even before zach got off of work we started drinking.
we were playing asshole - it's a card game.
it's pretty fucking fun when you're drunk.
i've never played drinking games before.
so this made me extra nervous.
so we were playing & i was already kinda drunk when zach got home.
he knew the minute he walked through the door that i was haha.
so we had to head over to my parents house.
because i needed to pick up a few things.
it's like all of my stuff is now invading on his room. haha.
he doesn't mind though. [:
so we go to my parents, he comes in with me.
roxie jumps all over him. haha.
i get the shit i need then knocked on jarred's door.
whenever someone leaves who was watching roxie,
they pass her to the next person who's awake.
because she doesn't like to be alone.
so i knock on jarred's door to send her with him.
he starts asking me some questions.
i blurt out, i'm fucking drunk & i don't know what's going on.
zach's behind me cracking up.
jarred gives me this really blank stare & says okay. haha.
so then we leave & head back to zach's apartment for more drinking.
this is when the night gets a little fuzzy for me.
i know i drank some more,
we played the card game some more,
i met all of jess's friends & got along with them.
OH YEAH
& one of jess's friends was totally flirting with zach.
yeah.
i was pissed.
i didn't make a scene though.
but, she was like all up on him & flirty when we were all playing cards.
zach says he didn't even notice cause he was drunk at that point.
so then we kept playing cards.
& i could feel myself losing it a little.
i knew i had a little too much.
so i whispered to zach & told him i was going upstaires to lay down.
which i did.
& the room was spinning.
so i made myself throw up because i knew i would feel better.
the next thing i remember is zach waking me up.
he was really fucking horny & wasted.
we had sex. <3
then after a while we fell asleep.
the next morning we woke up with hangovers.
that night was really fun though.
after i went to bed, jason told me the next day,
that they all said they were really proud of me for keeping up. haha.
because i hardly everrrrr get drunk like that.
it hasn't happened in yearsssss.
so yeah uh saturday, zach had to work.
so he left for work.
i went down staires to watch Burn After Reading.
jess & jason went to mcdonalds.
i was still hungover, so i thought it was best that i didn't go.
my right eye started buring & watering.
my sinus' were going crazy too.
so i didn't finish the movie.
i went upstaires to lay down because i felt like shit.
then jason comes & wakes me up.
he told me that one of jess's friends came over
& they were gonna watch a movie if i wanted to join.
i said yeah, sounds good & i went down staires.
i met jess's friend, she seemed really nice.
i still felt like shit, so i hope i didn't come off rude or anything.
we watched Coraline. <3
i had never seen it before
but, it was a really cute movie.
then i told them i needed to go upstaires.
my nose was running & my eye wouldn't stop watering.
i felt bad leaving so soon.
i didn't want to offend her friend.
but, i just felt like shit.
so then i went to sleep.
the next thing i know, zach wakes me up.
i asked him where everyone was cuz it was quiet.
he said he didn't know because he ran upstaires to see me. <3
he knew i was feeling bad cuz i texted him.
so then we went to my parents house.
zach didn't have a good day at work, so he stayed in the car.
i went in & took some food, left money for my parents
& chatted with them for a while.
after that we went back to his apartment.
we walked in as jason was making food.
so we sat down in the living room & watched a movie with them.
my eye was still burning & going crazy.
so after the movie i went to take my contacts out.
then i put my glasses on.
zach hasn't seen me in glasses in foreverrrr.
so i was shy around him when i went down staires.
but, as soon as he saw me in them he said, "omg. you're adorable." haha.
then i watched him play a video game for a while.
we also flirted while he was playing this game.
while i was downstaires my eyes were being really sensitive to lighting.
like just a few lights on downstaires was hurting me.
so after a while of flirting, i headed up staires with a headache.
zach came up staires eventually.
we flirted around in bed, we were play fighting, <3
and we had sex of course.
after that we fell asleep.
it was hard to sleep though because my eye was throbbing.
zach said last night he thought i had pink eye.
which totally made sense to me when he said it.
so this morning zach got up & left for work.
the pain in my eye was unbearable.
so i texted my dad & mom about it.
my mom came to pick me up & get some medication.
so we went by walgreens to pick some up.
i felt like a fucking leper because i had to stay away & not touch ANYTHING.
because pink eye is contagious or whatever.
so then we came home & i put the eye drops in my eyes.
i took some advil & then fell asleep.
i just woke back up about thirty minutes ago because
zach came to see me on his lunch break. <3
he;s never done that before!
so i was like super excited & happy. haha.
we sat in his car & talked for a few.
he saw me in shorts! oh dear.
i neverrrrrr wear shorts.
EVER.
& i was wearing some boxer shorts while i was sleeping.
i totally forgot to change before i saw him though.
oh well.
we were play flirting in the car.
he kept saying i was broken. haha.
because there's always something wrong with me.
but, he told me he still loves me. [:
so yeah.
tonight he asked if i wanted to see jason play a show.
i said yeah!
i really hope i feel better by tonight.
because i really wanna go.
he said that if we dont go though,
we would have the apartment to ourselves.
& i said ohhh that sounds good.
then we could have a cute, romantic date night!
so i guess we'll see what happens.
laterrr <3
|
2 // +
|
| <33 |
[21 Oct 2009|12:30pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 contemplative |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
The Used. |
] |
only we could try to take a shower together & fail. <3
baby,
sorry i was being really ditzy last night.
i was reallllly fucking high.
i still can't believe you told me,
"you could just stop eating."
you know about my past.
i can't believe those words came out of your mouth.
you are the best mom in the entire world.
i'm so happy you are still here.
i don't ever want to lose you.
we almost did
& everyday i'm thankful you are still here
when i see your face.
i love you so much mom.
i'm sorry it took me so long to actually say this.
it suddenly came to me a few weeks ago.
i wasn't home & dad told me you slept in my room. <3
it made me smile & made me realize you really do love me.
all throught out my teenage years i was horrible.
i never thought you loved me.
i was just being angsty & i'm sorry for this.
i know you love me & i love you too.
i'd be so lost without you here.
you are the most amazing person i've ever met.
everything about you just screams cool.
you make me smile, you make me happy & feel such intense feelings.
i've never felt this way before.
everyday i'm terribly excited to see you.
when you said i completed your life, i almost cried.
i can't believe this is happening to me.
i don't know what i did to deserve you.
but, i'm so happy i found you
& i'm so glad to have you in my life once again.
you're everything to me.
& i hope to be everything you need someday.
i wish we were closer than we are.
i know that we are close in our own crazy way.
everytime we are together we laugh.
you always know how to make me smile.
i know you're there for me if i need you.
it's just hard for me to talk about my feelings sometimes.
you've always been the most important person in my life.
if we were to stop talking i wouldn't know what to do with my life.
even when we used to fight i knew we actually loved eachother.
it's just what brothers & sisters do.
but, you are the best brother anyone could have.
i love the time we spend together.
you're a great little brother.
i couldn't ask for better.
i love you.
you've always been the closest person to me.
ever.
i tell you everything.
you always understand.
we use to have our differences.
but, i knew they would pass when i matured.
i'm sorry i was such a terror as a teenager.
you deserved better.
i never meant it when i yelled that i hated you.
never.
not once.
you're my father
& i love you so much.
if i lost you, i wouldn't know what to do.
you keep me sane.
we are so close in personality it's amazing that we get along so well.
no matter how old i get,
i will always be your little girl.
we do everything together,
you're like my best friend & my father.
i love you so much.
i never want to lose you.
i would want to stop my life right then & there.
i love you dad.
i needed to do that.
i was being really emotional all morning
& that helped me a lot.
|
3 // +
|
| Writer's Block: I'm sorry |
[21 Oct 2009|10:28am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
moody |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Lovedrug. |
] |
i would say i love you to everyone in my life right now.
especially my family & zach.
the 'i'm sorry" would go to everyone in my past.
|
+
|
| you've got the mark of the beast. |
[21 Oct 2009|09:34am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
moody |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Ludo |
] |
i'm at work this morning.
first time i've actually been to work in weeks.
it's weird for me.
this morning i yelled at my mom in the car.
i told her i didn't wanna work today.
& she was like well yesterday you were all excited to make money.
no, i wasn't.
i've never been excited to make money.
i couldn't care less about money.
my parents need the money.
not me.
that's exactly why they are asking for my paycheck this week.
i don't need money except to pay my parents.
they need the money.
so don't even say it's me.
because it's not.
it's you & you know that.
whatever.
i'm in a horrible mood.
what's wrong with me?
oh yeah.
zach's off today
& i'm at work.
that's why.
& yes, i will bitch, moan & complain all i want.
i guess it's not all bad though.
he probably needs a little break away from me.
because we've been spending so much time together lately.
high doses of taylor tend to get annoying after a while.
my mom's picking me up at 1.
so i'm not sure where i will go after work.
i don't know if zach wants me to come back over
or if i will just chill at home because he's already got plans for his day off.
i guess we'll see what happens when it gets closer to one.
latttttttter. <3
|
2 // +
|
| the memory of your stare is raining down on me. |
[20 Oct 2009|02:15pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
chipper |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
The Spill Canvas. |
] |
so let's see.
saturday was renfaire.
that night i went over to zach's apartment.
i don't really remember what we did that night.
we might of just layed in bed.
everything's pretty much running together for me.
but, being next to him everynight is the most amazing feeling. <3
yesterday the electricity went out in the morning.
oh yeah & we had hardcore sex not last night, but the night before last.
uhm. during the day me & zach layed in bed & cuddled.
he had to work around 5PM if i remember right.
something like that.
pretty late in the day.
so when he left jess took me & her two boys to lunch.
we walked down to a little cafe near their apartments.
it was a nice lunch & i ate a ton because i was starving.
then we went back to her apartment because they have electricity. haha.
she cleaned the apartment & we listened to music.
her boys were there & they were showing me stuff they like.
then her "husband" came home & we smoked a bowl.
then him & one of the boys went to the store to get food.
jess was making dinner for everyone.
i will still full from lunch though. XD
i regret not eating what she made though, it smelled great.
then zach came home & played with the boys.
he brought his xbox over & they were playing brutal legend.
so we stayed over there a while & hungout.
around 1230ish me & zach went over to his apartment.
yes, it was dark.
we thought it would be cool to smoke a bowl in the dark.
so we waited over there for a while for jason & them to come over.
butttt, they didn't.
& we started being all romantic in the dark.
so we headed up staires to cuddle.
we actually ended up falling asleep after a while.
today zach was up really early & i didn't know why.
he told me he had a hard time sleeping because it was so hot.
i felt so bad for him. ]:
so i kept kissing him to try & make him feel better.
i didn't go work today.
instead i layed in zach's bed pretty much all day & spent time with him.
he was being really super sweet.
& i played with his hair which he lovesss. <3
but, this morning he found out the power won't be turned back on til atleast tomorrow.
so he was kinda frustrated.
i tried to make him feel better with my sexy ways. haha.
we ended up having sexxx & he took his frustration out on me.
so it was getting to be time for zach to head to work.
so he wanted to go take a shower. haha.
well the electricity's off which means no hot water.
oh yeah & we wanted to take a shower together. <333
that's a first for us.
so i was really excited.
well we got in & it was freezing.
he put me in under the water in front of him
& then swung me around be behind him & held me.
i was shaking because it was so cold so i got out.
but, he hasn't taken a shower in a few days, so he needed one.
he was freeeeezing when he got out. ]:
poor baby.
then he layed on the floor &
was resting before we had to leave so he could get to work.
then when we were on our way to my house to drop me off,
we listened to the cd i made him in the car. <3
i was singing along to the songs. haha.
i'm such a losssssser.
but, i felt lame because i realized the cd i made him is really girly. =/
like, it's music that he normally wouldn't be into if i hadn't of given it to him.
so today i made him one that i feel better about.
i love all the time we are spending together.
i'm nervous that soon he's gonna get tired of me being around so much.
but, he says he loves the time we spend together as well.
& he says that i'm completely stuck with him. <3
he's the most amazing person i've ever met.
i want to be a better person for him.
|
+
|
| whoo. |
[18 Oct 2009|06:34pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
hot |
] |
| [ |
music |
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computer noises. |
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duuuude.
so yesterday me, felicia, josh & monique went to the renfaire.
the day started off really good.
i had to wake up around 730 AM. blah =/
then my dad drove me over to josh's so we could pick him up.
then we went by the atm to get some cashhhh.
after that we got dropped off at felicia's house.
when we got there i was pretty chill & in a good mood.
they were still getting ready to go.
monique dressed up as a fairy & she looked so cute!
as we were on our way to the faire
felicia was driving & we took a turn to fast
we actually ran off the road & into a ditch.
it was fucking scary.
i'm really glad we didn't run into a pole or bottom out the car.
so we got there,
monique put eyeliner on josh.
which looked realllllly fucking bad.
then renfaire was so much fun!
we walked around all day looking at costumes & such.
there was a couple there who actually were about to get married.
it was soooo cute
& you know the dude was living out a childhood fantasy. haha.
i got a dagger for zach.
i hope he likes it!
i haven;t given it to him though.
i ended up getting a handcrafted bronze rose for me.
it's gorgeous! <33
i wanted to get a leatherbound journal actually.
but, after buying zach's gift i didn't have enough money.
they were 60 dollars.
& i seriously almost cried when i realized i didn't have enough.
i've been looking for a leatherbound journal for months & months.
i'm a writer & i would like to be able to write my poetry in one.
josh ended up getting a dagger as well.
also of course he drank while he was there.
we got to watch a joust which was really fun!
me & monique rode on the wooden swings together.
all in all i'd say it was a really fun day.
now that it's over i wish i would of dresssed up. haha.
but, then again i don't know
because i saw two or three other women with my outfit. =/
anywayyyys that's all for now. <3
i'll probably update more tomorrow.
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| no matter much this hurts, this is love. |
[18 Oct 2009|01:40pm] |
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aggravated |
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MR |
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i woke up in a reall hostile mood today.
i hope noone crosses me the wrong way.
i'm not opposed to hitting someone.
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[17 Oct 2009|10:55pm] |
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gloomy |
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The Spill Canvas. |
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i still get the urge to cut whenever i cry.
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| we're better off when daddy's not around. |
[16 Oct 2009|01:19pm] |
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happy |
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Alkaline Trio. |
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i hope anyone that reads this isn't getting sick of all the lovey dovey posts!
cause here's another one... >D
yesterday i texted zach a couple of times
& i got worried because he didn't text me back.
well turns out his phone got turned off.
so he could recieve calls & messages, but he could'nt reply.
so he called me from where he works.
i didn't answer because i didn't recognize the number
& i didn't know he was gonna call me.
so he left me a message telling me about his phone.
i texted him back & was like, "ohh okay i get it. haha."
then i tried to call him back on that number like an hour later.
he didn't answer, so i got a little confused as to what was going on.
he called me back around 9PM ish.
he was still at work & had called me off his work phone.
so i was omg i'm sorry! i didn't know it was his work phone.
& i wouldn't of called back if i knew that!
i don't wanna get him in trouble at work or anything.
he said not to worry about it.
so then he said he was getting off of work soon
& asked if i wanted to hangout with him last night.
i said yeah, of course. [:
so after we got off the phone i got ready & everything.
when he got here he didn't come to the door...
he knocked at my window. XD haha.
so we left my house & headed over to another one of his friend's house.
i had been there once before, a while ago.
but, i was still a little nervous.
jason was there too.
so we hungout there & watched tv.
his friend made us this apple treat with icecream.
it was sooooo good. haha.
then when we left there we headed to their apartment.
oh yeah. something fun that i forgot.
earlier on in the night, before i knew zach was picking me up,
i had taken 5 sleeping pills.
so when we were at his friends house i was falling asleep. XD haha.
i took them because i have a hard time sleeping sometimes.
i wouldn't of taken them if i knew i was gonna see zach.
well anywayz
we get to their apartment
& we all go to jason's room & hangout there for a while.
we all smoked, watched tv & just talked.
it was nice because i don't know jason that well
& i got to learn more about him last night.
so after that we were all pretty tired.
i was fighting to stay awake because i wanted to spend time with zach.
so we go back to zach's room to lay down.
we were being like sickly sweet with eachother. haha.
it was so adorable.
we spent most of the night talking.
we had sex once & it was amazing.
then we both fell asleep .
we woke up today around 12PM ish i think.
he was being so sweet.
at first we just layed together & held eachother.
kissing necks, noses & foreheads.
then he sat up on the bed & pulled me ontop of him.
so i sat in his lap & played with his hair as he held me.
then he layed me down & was listening to my heartbeat.
i kept playing with his hair.
last night he told me he loves when i play with his hair.
then we had to get ready to go. he had work at 130 PM.
so we both got dressed & stuffz.
oh also zach was feeling a little vendictive this morning.
he knows i'm going to renfest all tomorrow
& he knows josh is gonna be there.
so zach left a huge ass hickey on the right of my neck.
he said he did it because he likes leaving marks on me
& because payback is a bitch & he wants josh to know i'm his.
i thought it was cute that he's being all protective of me. <3
so then he got on the phone with jess.
& i took this picture of us:
ughh. i look like hell in this picture. haha.
we had just gotten out of bed & got dressed.
so yeah.
& then he brought me home.
i'm excited to go to renfest tomorrow.
but, i'm gonna miss zach so much.
i hope no drama happens tomorrow. :|
well i guess that's all for now!
<3
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| giving life away. |
[15 Oct 2009|06:23pm] |
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music |
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Testament. |
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i hate posting like a million times a day, but whatever.
what am i, fucking 15?
my dad: "the music you listen to is obnoxious."
MAYBE YOU'RE JUST TOO FUCKING OLD.
jesus.
[i was listening to old FFTL at the time.]
also,
"you can't leave the house in the middle of the night."
excuse me?
i'm fucking 20 years old.
i'm pretty sure i can do what the fuck i want to.
i'm safe.
i take the house key.
i tell you where i'm going.
& i don't wake anyone up.
I DON'T SEE THE PROBLEM HERE.
i'm not a little girl anymore, dad.
i'm growing up & i can make my own choices.
i may not always chose the right one sometimes.
but, you taught me right from wrong.
don't worry so much.
i'm doing just fine.
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